You’re working on a project, and one of your colleagues has lost heart. Even though you haven’t worked together for long, it’s now obvious. He’s started making lots of mistakes, says almost nothing in meetings, turns up unprepared and generally seems out of sorts. Your colleague’s lack of motivation is affecting your work too — so what do you do? Going to the manager feels disloyal. If you say it yourself, he might end up hurt, angry and offended. If you call a radio phone-in show for advice, he might recognise himself. What should you do?
When it comes to motivation, teamwork and leadership, organisations have often drawn inspiration from the military. Among other things, researchers have studied why 75% of American soldiers didn’t fire their weapons in World War II, and why 45% didn’t fire them in the Korean War either (D. Grossman, 2009). When the soldiers were interviewed about why they went into battle against enemy fire, the stories painted a clear picture. It was neither ideology, militarism, nationalism, religiosity nor battle courage — it was belonging (B. Newsome, 2010). They went to their deaths for their fellow soldiers.
Even though the Americans had plenty of weapons, ammunition and food, they were considerably less motivated than the ideological German soldiers. The German army was good at organising its soldiers, whereas the American soldiers only experienced informal social groups. The Americans didn’t feel the same degree of belonging as the Germans, and were paralysed by their own fear on the battlefield. The army learnt fast, though. By the time of the Vietnam War, the number of American soldiers firing their weapons had risen to 90% (D. Grossman, 2009).
The Americans didn’t feel the same degree of belonging as the Germans, and were paralysed by their own fear on the battlefield.
The battlefield analogy paints a picture of just how decisive belonging is for a successful team. In a workplace, it’s the equivalent of a salesperson with the latest phone on the market only calling 25% of their customers. Unlike responsibility, ownership can’t be handed over. It has to come from the person themselves (D. Frink, 2004). That’s why it matters that you know how to inspire, motivate and influence your colleague. Assuming you and your colleague trust each other, start here:
Say it
It’s absolutely vital that you speak up to your colleague when you’ve got something on your mind. Conflicts don’t go away on their own — they erode your trust and damage your relationship if nothing is done about them. It’s even worse if you only say things to people other than the one it actually concerns. Because then you show that you don’t trust the two of you to solve the problem, and you keep picking at the wound and keeping the disagreement alive. Speak up, on the other hand, and you show ownership towards your colleague.
Say it as it is
When you’ve got something on your mind, don’t dress it up for your colleague. Say it as it is. The risk of being misunderstood is far greater if you try to protect your colleague’s feelings by wrapping the message up. When you say it as it is, you show ownership by following up on whether your colleague has received and understood your message the way it was meant.
The risk of being misunderstood is far greater if you try to protect your colleague’s feelings by wrapping the message up.
Say it well
You can be honest and direct and still say it in a decent way. When you balance yourself, your colleague and your point in the conversation, you’ll find you can give feedback without sounding preachy. That way you can do favours without holding a grudge. You can be forceful without sounding condescending, and you can be kind without seeming weak. When you state your view with respect for yourself, your colleague and the matter at hand, you say it well. If you’re cross or angry, this might not be the best moment. Better to wait ten minutes until you’ve cooled down, and separate feelings from facts. Your colleague can’t do much with muddled feedback. Say it well.
Saying it creates security and belonging
When you say it, say it as it is, and say it well, it means your colleagues know you’re not holding a grudge or carrying around some unresolved issue. That creates security for your colleagues and makes a big difference to your wellbeing and working environment. One example is the local authority of Aalborg, whose sickness absence fell by 10% in 2012 because colleagues showed this kind of collegial ownership. That’s the equivalent of 96 full-time positions (B. Godtberg, 2013). Even so, I often come across workplaces where the team looks the other way when a colleague calls in sick or doesn’t follow up with their customers. Because the alternative could just as well be that the team made sure everyone showed up for work or followed up with the customers. As a rule, we wrongly assume that speaking up creates insecurity. In the short term it can of course feel confronting, but in the long term it creates both security and belonging.
Sickness absence in the local authority of Aalborg fell by 10% in 2012 because colleagues showed this kind of collegial ownership. That’s the equivalent of 96 full-time positions.
When a colleague in the local authority of Aalborg has something on their mind, they speak up — without hesitating or asking permission. The philosopher Anders Fogh Jensen once described how we’ve gained a world of possibilities at the cost of great uncertainty, like this:
“You can’t know whether what you’re doing is good enough, or how it’ll end up. On the other hand, you know that anything is possible — but not that it’ll actually come to something” (A. Jensen, 2009).
Make sure you’re the colleague who shows collegial ownership by saying things as they are — and in a decent way.
Sources and more inspiration
On Killing: The Psychological Cost of Learning to Kill in War and Society
D. Grossman, 2009, Back Bay Books
The Myth of Intrinsic Combat Motivation
B. Newsome, 2010, Journal of Strategic Studies
Advancing Accountability Theory and Practice
D. Frink & R. Klimoski, 2004, Human Resource Management Review
Fewer off sick in the local authority of Aalborg
B. Godtberg, 2013, DR P4 Nordjylland
Anders Fogh Jensen, 2009, Aarhus University Press
