You don’t have to sit dreaming of a better boss — because there’s actually quite a lot you can do yourself to get one! I always talk to the manager before I give a talk or run a workshop for their staff. Most of the time I see managers paying close attention to recognising, showcasing and praising their people. But what about the managers themselves? Why does nobody talk about the fact that they also need recognition and praise from their team in order to do their best — and so that their staff can do their best too?
A couple of weeks ago I gave a talk about happiness at work and recognition at a fairly large Danish company. After the talk, the CEO came up to me and asked, with a wry smile, “Am I wearing a tie?” I said, “Errr, no.” Then the CEO told me he only put on a tie if a member of staff had praised him the day before. He’d been a manager for 20 years, but had had at most three tie days.
For decades, I’ve seen Danish leaders use recognition, visibility and praise as a deliberate tool to get their staff and the team to deliver in top gear and at the best quality. For years now we’ve known about the so-called Rosenthal effect, which tells us that when we expect something good, we significantly raise the odds of it actually turning out good. On that basis, leaders use praise as a kind of self-fulfilling prophecy.
Robert Rosenthal, a German-American psychologist who was a professor at Harvard University from 1962 to 1999. He is widely known as the psychologist who formulated the theory of the expectancy effect — the idea that things turn out well when we expect them to.
Praise and honesty
But why does it only travel from the top down? When Danish companies are known as flat organisations, where praise should come easily, it’s puzzling that there still isn’t a strong culture of praise — one where praise also travels from the bottom up. Why don’t staff praise their boss?
After plenty of conversations with staff and their managers, I’ve arrived at three plausible answers:
- The boss gets no praise from their staff until they are able to give recognition and praise themselves.
- The boss has to be ready to receive both criticism and praise with gratitude — or at the very least with appreciation.
- Staff have to be honest when they give praise. If an employee dishonestly praises their boss with a hidden agenda of a pay rise or a promotion, two things happen: the boss smells a rat, and the colleagues get resentful. So it’s a basic condition that staff are honest when they give praise.
The way I see it, bosses are like everyone else: they get better from praise, and staff’s honest praise is carried by Rosenthal’s expectancy effect. In other words, the boss simply becomes a better leader by being praised by their staff. And who wouldn’t like a good boss?
Here’s how you can get started:
- Talk openly about strengthening and protecting honesty in the team. Honesty is liberating, because it turns criticism into learning and turns praise into results.
- Voice your appreciation of the boss to your colleagues. Highlight their good sides when it’s relevant and natural.
- Start by praising your boss directly when you’re alone with them, and start small — for example: “Thanks for listening in that meeting the other day, that meant a lot to me,” or “It was a real eye-opener for me to watch your presentation today.”
…and you’ll get a better boss!
/Martin
– Thank goodness it’s almost Monday!
