The reason we are both our dreams and our fears is that it is often our own fear that keeps us from living out our dreams. In other words, we stand in our own way of doing what we’d love to do.
Lisbeth’s dream of going to India was alive and intact. But as she got up, I cut in: “Where are you off to?” — “To India, of course!” she replied, baffled, jacket in hand as if a plane were waiting for her. “Sit down a moment,” I asked her.
We put things off for as long as the pleasure of putting off outweighs the pain of taking action. Lisbeth had been carrying her dream around for a while — and putting it off. So I wanted her to “nail down the agreement” we had just made. Otherwise she would, in all likelihood, wake up the next morning and put it off once more.
“I’d like you to show yourself that you really are going. Something that, once it’s done, can’t be undone. Something that truly shows yourself that you’re going. You can lie to me, sure — but you can’t lie to yourself!” I gave her a little time to think, and then asked: “What could you do?”
Lisbeth looked at me with frightened eyes and gathered her thoughts: “Then I have to buy a one-way ticket to Mumbai right now!” Carrying that decision out filled the remaining three quarters of our conversation.
Making plans is free. If you want to make the gods laugh — just tell them your plans. The hard part is what I call “nailing down the agreement”. Making the agreement binding is an art.
Finally she did it — on my Visa card! She hadn’t brought any money of her own. (but the things you do for your clients!)
Many people would rather hold one more meeting, because the pleasure of putting off is greater than the pain of making decisions — here and now! Whatever decisions you have to make in the coming year, do yourself a favour: remember that if you do NOT make the decision and take action HERE AND NOW, you will have to go through the whole decision process all over again — instead of getting it done HERE AND NOW while you are already at it. In other words: finish the job.
/Martin
– Thank goodness it’s almost Monday!
